Summer.

I will now sum up the summer of 2009 in a single post. You’ll find it a riveting, brazen analysis of everything I found important thats transpired in the season of sunny days:

I would have paid a significant amount of money to have this on videotape. Stealing from, or committing theft in the presence of a nun, regardless of your spiritual beliefs, seems about as smart as poking a sleeping bear with a stick while covered in honey and wearing flip flops.

Nothing short of bold. While you’re at it, say goodbye to your grandmother on her death bead via Twitter you tool.

As it turns out, Cristiano Ronaldo was roughly just as good as everyone thought he was. Manchester will have to find goals from other people. Like Shrek and a hopefully-not-too-washed-up Owen. The bench is as deep as any team in the world, so I’m not worried. Yet.

If the Afghan people don’t want to fight the Taliban, who will? On paper, it is one of the most just wars (if there is so contradicting a phrase) we have ever fought, and yet the world won’t send men to fight it.

Iraq seems as fun as ever. I say we make a gut decision between healthcare and this war. In a perfect world, Obama would eliminate a federal healthcare system altogether and shift all available forces from Iraq into Afghanistan and wipe the Taliban off the face of the earth. But, as a pragmatist, it is now a numbers game. Atop the lives, the money and the political capital the Iraq War has and will drain, President Barack Obama needs to decide if he truly wishes to further bankrupt the country through expanded healthcare without cutting costs.

Michael Moore thinks we have a capitalist system in the United States, and he aims to make it his scapegoat for all his problems. It’s like blaming a leaking roof on on the guy that built your foundation.

Tarantino and Nazis. Perfect.

The Gopher hockey team is loaded. Again. And Nick Leddy is going to become a hometown hero. No pressure bud.

EPIC.

I know people like this. I may have met a few this summer.

I’m sure I’ll find more things to critique and offer my invaluable advice on soon.

BOOM goes the dynamite

 

Note the 'mustache.' What a joke.

I did not want the Penguins to win the Stanley Cup. I wanted the euro-trash, hockey dynasty from Detroit to make Sidney Crosby cry. It didn’t happen. I’m bitter. 

In other news, Cristiano Ronaldo is evidently worth somewhere between a lot and way too much. I’ll say this much as a Man U fan–we sold him in his prime for more than any other player in history. We will be just fine.

World News:

Moussavi won the election. Lets be real.

Obama wants to bankrupt us. Or hospitals. Or save us money? Fix debt? Put us in debt? Kinda depends on what kind of mood you are or what/who you are reading.

I don’t know what Pakistan is doing on the best of days; usually it’s somewhere between driving US officials absolutely mad and freewheeling some kind of manhunt from a cubical in Islamabad. Good people. 

Israel has spies!? Thats ludicrous. That’s like saying the United States has a convoluted history with Native Americans. Can’t imagine it being true.

Why?

I don’t want to dwell on it. Barcelona and their boy Lionel have laid claim to the European throne.

Manchester! Wild! Twins.

The Red Devils lost out on the quint (who really cares about the FA Cup anyway), but I have faith Arsenal will get plowed on Wednesday so we can begin our march in the Champions League. Quick side note, Rafa Benitez seems like a little bit of a tool to me; I understand the manager rivalry but he just twists me the wrong way. All I know for sure is a team with forwards like Manchester always has a chance. Ronaldo, Rooney and Berbatov. ‘Nuff said. 

The Minnesota Wild gutted the front office and the coach. Goodbye Jaques Lemaire! Alright I tried being excited about it. I don’t see another coach doing any better with the collection of talent we put on the ice this year. Hossa time? I say we move and shake for Kovulchuck. I don’t know. I get depressed even thinking about next year.

And the Twins. Gotta love a scrappy team without their franchise player. Watching them play baseball is like watching NASCAR. Yeah. Piece that one together on your own. 

News!

My other blog will have my portfolio of design ideas and presentations; essentially a way to display my prowess in Adobe InDesign and Photoshop. You know. Staying sharp.

In other news, Manchester United stopped the bleeding. More distance with Liverpool would be nice.

Real Men Don’t Cry.

If you are in the mood for crying on a Saturday morning, go ahead and read this story about a basketball team and their coach. Most of the older generation in this country have a certain world-view when it comes to younger generations and our shenanigans. But this story is proof that you can expect great things if you believe it is something we are capable of.

I also challenge you not to weep openly when you read about Bill Simmons’s dog.  

On a lighter note, Manchester toasted Tottenham. But the real story was about how much of a baby Ronaldo is. I don’t care though. Name a soccer player who can score at will playing today other than Ronaldo.  

Why is this news?

And finally, a letter from the leader of Libya, Muammar Qaddafi, explaining the need for a ‘one state solution’ in Israel and Palestine. That name might ring a bell; he is the one who took responsibility for the 1988 bombing of Pan Am Flight 103 over Lockerbie, Scotland, which killed 270 people, most of them Americans. When you read between the lines in this letter, it is blatantly obvious why he is suggesting a single state: the current birth rate of Palestinians is almost 20 percent higher than that of Israel’s. The ability for the Israeli’s to have any power in a democratic government would be wiped out in no more than 40 years.